ADULTING: You Are Stronger Than You Know


Last week I briefly shared my journey towards adulthood. In sum, I stated my belief that adulting is really all about growing, maturing and transitioning into the next phase of life. As with most things, growth is not an easy process. It can be, at times, painful, messy and will usually cost you something BUT it prepares you for that great thing you were purposed to do. Although I shared my story (that is still ongoing), I also wanted to share some tidbits that I firmly believe will help you view your adulting process in a different light. I want you to know that YOU CAN DO THIS.


1.) Be Kind To Yourself — You don’t have to have everything figured out. More than likely, you are doing better than you think.

2.) Be Kind To Yourself — This is a period of soul searching. Soul searching can be a wonderful or not so wonderful process. It all depends on your perspective. Listen, if you are in your early twenties and are soul searching, kudos to you! It means you are mature enough to say “I want to find out who I am and what I was created to do.” Some people don’t start this journey until wayyy later. Meaning, they have had to survive years of a dis-satisfactory life disconnected from their heart’s desires. Don’t let that be you.


3.) Be Kind To Yourself — Don’t let the media lie to you. If you are like me, you want to do something that leaves a mark in the world and has a lasting impact on generations to come. You read Forbes and find all these entrepreneurs that made millions by 26. Then you look at your life and say “what am I doing with my life?!” Listen, making millions by 26 is great! I would love that. But if that is not where you are right now, that is okay! One of the great things  I love about adulting is that you learn the skills and build the character that will sustain you for the time you accomplish  your dreams. If you were given all your heart’s desire now, you probably wouldn’t know how to properly steward all the resources you would have and it would ultimately destroy you. Think about it, how many celebrities do you know have ALL the money in the world but are still incredibly sad, end up doing drugs, committing suicide or just squandering their wealth?! The adulting process, no matter how hard it may be, is a great teacher. So let the process do its work and decide that you will no longer compare your story to anyone else’s. Comparison kills. Take the pressure off and decide that you are okay with where you are while simultaneously striving to be a better you in a better place.

4.) Be Kind To Yourself— Don’t be afraid to let go of those things that easily drag you down. Some of these things can include: old or new hurts, bad relationships, bad habits, negative lifestyles, negative thought patterns, etc. Let the dead things go. Shake off the heavy weights. Yes, it’ll be really hard but it’ll totally be worth it. You can’t go higher with all that stuff weighing you down.

5.) Be Kind To Yourself — Say nice things to yourself. This is so vital! Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone you love.

6.) Be Kind To Yourself — Get involved in a healthy community. As I journeyed  through my process, I  realized that in order to be the best version of myself, I needed to surround myself with a team of people that love me, care about me and are passionate about my success. This for me is my church family. The more I got involved in church activities, the more I realized that we are like-minded people with similar goals and viewpoints regardless of our age differences. I found that the people on my team are trustworthy people that are determined to see me rise to the occasion and reach my greatest potential. Every single person on this planet needs this. This for you can be your family, friends, church, book club, study group, etc. The goal is to find a people that will not be jealous of your success but push you towards success because they firmly believe a win for you is a win for the team. Your success allows them to see what is possible for their own lives  and vice versa.

7.) Be Kind To Yourself — Remember, it’s a process! It’s okay to have one of these days (it’s just not okay to stay there)…



Although I am finished with my academic career, I have learned that education never ends. Knowledge is still power whether you are in or out of school. With that being said, here are some resources that may help you as you navigate your way from adolescence to adulthood. I hope these ignite a spark in you to find more resources that will greatly benefit you as you go through your process.

Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

Spanx CEO Sara Blakely Offers Advice to Redefine Failure

How To Survive Breaking Up With Yourself by Paul Angone

What 11 Highly Successful People Were Doing in Their 20s

An Open Letter to Those Whose “Flaws” Are Holding Them Back by Marc Chernoff

TED Talk- Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability

Brene Brown: Why Your Critics Aren’t The Ones Who Count

#GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso

What are some other resources you recommend?


I’m excited about your future!


Until next time,

Emem Joy Emah



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