This is the reason why they don’t like you

Have you ever encountered someone that simply doesn’t like you.. for no particular reason? I know how you feel. In my middle/early high school years (I don’t quite remember the specific time), there was a young lady that wasn’t fond of me. I honestly did not understand why. I knew I had done nothing to her but yet for no apparent reason, she made it abundantly clear that she could not stand me. This hurt because I aspired to be like her. She walked with a strut and a confidence that I longed to have.

One day, I gathered up the strength  to ask her what I had done to deserve such harsh treatment. I was sure she was going to roll her eyes and curse me out as she was known to do. But she didn’t. Instead she gave me an answer that greatly perplexed me.

In words similar to this, she said.. “every time you walk in the room all eyes are on you. You command attention. That’s why I don’t like you.”

I was confused. Was she talking about me? Because as far as I was concerned, I blended in with the wall. I felt no one knew I was really there.

It wasn’t until much later in life that I understood what she was talking about.

Recently, my brilliant sister told me this:

“You are so focused on their jealousy and hatred of you that you don’t realize that they see the genius in you that you don’t see in yourself.”

Woah! Heavy stuff! It instantly reminded me of the situation I recalled above.

I did not realize the reason that young lady did not like me was because she saw the greatness I never knew I possessed. I did not realize her disdain of me had more to do with her than it ever had to do with me. I did not realize that although I longed to learn her confident ways, she secretly longed for the greatness I possessed.
What’s my reason for writing this? It  certainly is not out of pride or arrogance. It is to get you to consider the possibility that the reason he/she/they don’t like you is because they see the greatness in you that you fail to see in yourself. That maybe its really not about you but all about his/her/their insecurity.

Remove yourself

Listen, don’t take it personally. First, remove yourself from their presence. Although you can empathize with their pain or insecurity, the reality remains, you are still getting mistreated. NO ONE THAT MISTREATS YOU IS WORTHY OF YOUR PRESENCE.

Pray for them

Secondly, pray for them. No, seriously. Hating them or becoming bitter won’t do you any good. Instead it taints your soul and kills your spirit. Bitterness and un-forgiveness wounds and sickens you more than it does anyone else. Again, pray for them. Pray for their well-being. If you happen to see them around, be kind to them. You cannot control how someone else treats you but you certainly can control how YOU act or react. Therefore, be kind.

Learn your greatness

Thirdly, learn your greatness. Affirm your greatness. Watch the words you meditate on. Watch the words you speak about yourself. Speak and think words that build you up and not words that tear you down.


I’ll leave you with this…

Darling, you harness such greatness within you, it causes your enemies to shudder in fear. You are a fearless and resilient wonder. You are beauty defined.


Until next time,

Emem Joy Emah



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