WOW. What a crazy couple of weeks it has been. A lot has happened and is STILL happening.

Initially, I was not sure about writing this post. I didn’t know if I wanted to put this out into the world because quite frankly there seems to be thousands of opinion pieces about the result of the election that sound like a resounding gong. So I ruminated, meditated, and decided upon sharing my thoughts.

The election is long over. The president has been chosen but the sting still remains.

Many have just woken up to the cruelty that is the governmental system of this country while others (namely the minorities) have been living in this space for years, decades, centuries…

I don’t write this from a bitter or angry space. No matter how long it has taken for some to wake from their slumber, I am glad to see them awake. I am overjoyed that their eyes are open to begin to see things  for what they really are. From the outside looking in, it looks like chaos and it certainly is that. But I am challenging you to look at things from a different lens, a lens of hope.

Now more than ever is the time for stimulating and eye-opening conversation. Now is the time for people that are JUST waking up to this system’s cruelty to lend their listening ear and empathetic hearts.

NOW is the time for compassion.

“Compassion asks us to… enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish.”

Henri Nouwen

If you have been living a sheltered life of privilege and have not sought to understand the plight of others, I urge you to take a bold step by asking the RIGHT person the questions you may have. I emphasize the word RIGHT because you will find that some are drained from the pain they’ve had to endure and are no longer willing to share their story. That’s okay. They have that right. But there are those that want to speak and more than anything want to be heard.

Find them. Listen. Enter into the places of pain, brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish and share that with them. Then FIGHT together, PRAY together, LEARN together and MOVE FORWARD together.

 

It’ll be hard. We have a long road ahead of us but in unity, we can do ANYTHING.

In the words of Prophet Kendrick Lamar, “If God’s got us then we gon’ be alright.”

 

Let’s do this!

 

Until next time,

Emem Joy Emah

 

There’s something that I have recently come to grips with. It is this… I place people on pedestals. Meaning, I exalt people to a place they should never be and because they are unable or unfit to be placed in such a high position, they easily let me down. I had always known this but have recently realized that something had to be done about it. I realized that this was becoming problematic because it was affecting every area of my life from friendships to my view of public figures.

Friendships.

Sometimes it is not always them but it is you. I found this to be the case with me. If I am confident of anything, it is my God-given ability to trust my gut and realize when a friendship is no more. I typically know when a chapter is ending and it’s time to move on. But, in a recent scenario in my life, this has not been the case. I had a friend, someone that has been in my life for a LONG amount of time. We’ve been through hell and back. But lately, I realized the friendship started to take a weird turn but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. Slowly the friendship started to fizzle out and eventually ended. Typically when this happens, I am UN-bothered because I trust my God-given gut and I have immense peace. I might mourn the friendship but I still have peace about closing the chapter. However with this particular friendship, it wasn’t the case. I constantly questioned what it was that caused the friendship to end. I didn’t have the peace I usually do. Upon much prayer and meditation, I realized that a MAJOR reason for the friendship ending was not the other person, it was ME! It was NOT an organic fizzling out or an all out disagreement, IT WAS ME. I was shocked. The friendship was no longer working because I had placed this friend on a pedestal. For all the years I had known this person, I always placed them on a pedestal. And because they were so high, they were always in a position to let me down because of the impossible standards I had set. I soberly realized that for all the years we had known each other, I maintained an unhealthy view of this person. This unhealthy view caused them to always let me down with their actions because I expected more. I expected things they could NOT possibly give to me.

Believe it or not, setting people on pedestals did not just affect this particular friendship, it affected my admiration of a public figure, Tori Kelly.

Wait, I know that sounds crazy. Let me explain.

emem-tori

Listen, I love me some Tori Kelly, You hear? Her voice is just GOALS to me. Soooooo, when I realized she was coming to my neck of the woods to perform, I QUICKLY bought VIP tickets. I HAD to meet this young lady that had the voice of angel. I psyched myself up, got dolled up and went. There were a lot of annoyances that day but I was determined to meet Ms. Kelly and I just knew meeting her would change my life in SOME capacity. I stood in line, met new people, got rained on and ALL that believing it would all be worth it to meet this wonderful lady.

Well, I eventually got to meet her. She was kind and sweet. We took a picture and said our hello’s and goodbyes. As I walked away, I was waiting to experience that life changing, awe-inspiring feeling.

Nothing, I felt nothing.

For the remainder of the concert I was upset. I felt gypped. I actually thought it was Ms. Kelly’s fault that I didn’t experience what I built up in my mind. As a result, I did not enjoy the concert. Everyone around me had an amazing time at this concert. Not I. I was too deep in my feelings. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that I placed her on an unrealistic pedestal. She was just another girl with incredible talent living out her purpose. She could not give me anything but her gift, her talent. She was/is not God.

 

Here-in lies the issue. We place our public figures on IMPOSSIBLE pedestals and get upset when they act human. Take the recent Justin Bieber throwing the mic on stage and walking out incident. Now, do I agree with that specific course of action?! Absolutely not. But, we too often forget that this young man has lived MOST of his life with being placed on an IMPOSSIBLE pedestal. Everywhere he goes, little girls scream wanting a little piece of him. With attention like this, it is impossible to expect him to do the most humble thing. It’s difficult for us that lead normal lives to do the most humble thing, how much more someone that is idolized day and night.

My point?

It’s time we take people off the pedestal we’ve placed them on. From loved ones to public figures. We all put our pants on one leg at a time. Now I am not saying it is a bad idea to look up to anyone. Not at all. We all need someone to look up to. Someone that inspires us to change our lives for the better. However, what I am warning against is placing impossible standards on a person. If a person has become your source of joy, peace, sanity, wisdom and EVERYTHING. That’s a red-flag. A person you look up to should cause inspiration and not obsession. Having a relationship with someone that you depend on and call on for everything not only cripples the greatness within you but is the fastest way to destroy any relationship.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

Until next time,

Emem Joy Emah

 

Hi.

Ok, it’s been a while and I have some explaining to do. But mannnnnnn… honestly, life got the better of me. Things got real and HARD. REAL HARD. I needed sometime away. I didn’t want to write from an empty and exhausted space but from a full and peaceful one. So, here I am. I am ready and revitalized to keep moving forward. And don’t worry, one day soon, I’ll delve into some of the things that were going on.  

I’ve been away but by no means have I been under a rock. Lots has happened but I want to focus on some specific headlines.

In keeping up with the latest headlines (and the comments people make about them), I found one common thread: we have forgotten about our humanity. When I say we have forgotten or better yet lost our humanity, I mean that there is no sense of compassion or love like there once was. Not that we have always been the most compassionate peoples but maybe in my naivety, I felt we still had a fraction of compassion left. Not so. Things have been happening that has caused me to grieve greatly and be intently compassionate towards people.  

Have you read the latest headlines or comments about the latest headlines?! I mean from police brutality to the comments people have about the events going on in the lives of public figures, I genuinely question mankind’s ability to love and be kind. It’s a bit drastic, I know but it’s been difficult for me to see anything else. Okay, let’s examine the latest headlines that have peaked my interest within the last few months…

john-green-quote

Terence Crutcher and More…

Jesus! If this does not scream lack of humanity and compassion I don’t know what does?! I know this isn’t new. I know this injustice and lack of moral compass has been happening for years now but it doesn’t make it any less disheartening ESPECIALLY because as a black woman this could happen to me or any of my family members. My hope is that as young people, we would not stop talking about this issue and peacefully protesting. The habit for media or any bureaucracy at large is to cover up or deny the most important issues. It is ONLY when we raise our voices in unity that they will bow to our demands.

Kid Cudi & Selena Gomez

Whew. My heart goes out to these too. Again, I know this happens all the time and the tendency is to ignore public figures that check into rehab but we forget that before anything else, they are human. They live and breathe just like everyone else. And what concerns me  most about our society is that we celebrate people when they die and not while they are alive. With that being said, Kid Cudi, I celebrate you for choosing the path of healing rather than taking your life, which I am sure you have been tormented to do for years. I pray you get the peace that you need and continue to be a voice for this generation. Same goes to you Selena.  Girl, focus on you! Get your health and sanity back. Your fans and the world can wait.

Kim Kardashian West Robbery

Yet another public figure that we forget is a HUMAN being. I don’t have to agree with Mr and Mrs. West’s antics to empathize with them during this traumatizing time. Her robbery especially hit close to home  because when I was a little girl, my family and I were robbed in our home and held at gunpoint. It was one of the SCARIEST days of my life and I will never forget it. During this time, a lot of the blame is being put on her for flashing her jewelry on social media (which I don’t disagree with) but what remains bothersome is the lack of empathy that is apparent when people talk about her flashing her jewelry on social media. She shouldn’t have done that,  we all agree, but she is still going through a shocking and traumatic event. All I am saying is let your words heal and not JUST point out the obvious cause.  

All I am saying is be compassionate with your words, especially on social media. Don’t forget your humanity. Your compassion. Your heart. Just because the world is going crazy doesn’t mean you have to be too. Treat others the way you would want to be treated ESPECIALLY online. Evaluate the words you write on social media. If you wouldn’t want something written about you, don’t write it about someone else- public figure or not.

My hope, prayer, desire and dream is that we would use our voices collectively to dismantle systems built on fear and hatred rather than speaking or writing harshly about people we know little or nothing about.

 

You are so awesome for reading this post. Thank you!

 

Warm regards,

Emem Joy Emah