My sister and I were having another one of our insightful conversations when she brought up a powerful lesson my father taught her.
She wanted to ask him for something but was hesitant to ask because she didn’t want to hear him say no.
My father perplexed at her hesitancy, took the time to teach her a powerful lesson that stuck with her and has gotten her through some of the most challenging seasons of her life. He said:
“If you want something, just ask. Don’t be afraid of hearing no. Has a no ever killed you?! If you hear a no, at least now you know.”
When my sister shared this with me, it felt like it was the missing piece to my puzzle. It caused me to realize my fear of hearing no (really, my fear of rejection) was holding me back from getting the things I wanted. I immediately felt a release to simply ask.
This week, I challenge you to ask. Speak up and ask God, family members, friends, co-workers, supervisors, and even strangers for what you want. Remember, the worst you can hear is no but at least you asked.
Be honest with me here, have you at any point in your life heard these words: “love the hustle,” or “fall in love with the process”? Better yet, have you heard “the hustle is sexy”? Yes, you heard that right, the hustle is something to be sexually attracted to. Where do people come up with this stuff?!
OK remember, we are being totally honest here. When you heard these statements, what was your response? Did you snarl with a loud “shut up!” or did you quietly roll your eyes? If you did either of the two, or both, I am not judging you. In fact, I think we might secretly be best friends.
Hustle. I hated that word.
I heard it everywhere! Rapper Ace Hood repeatedly told me to “hustle hard”, Rick Ross proudly declared “every day he was hustling” and don’t get me started on when Beyonce defined diva as a “female version of a hustler.” It was glorified and romanticized and I fell for it. I interpreted praise of the word as something to intentionally pursue and find pleasure in.
I’m sure you are not surprised to find that as I began stepping out in faith to pursue my purpose, I discovered the word to be the opposite of glamour and glory. To my utter shock and dismay, I found hustling to be difficult, painful, grimy and messy.
I found the following to be true about the hustle:
The hustle is rolling up your sleeves, getting on your hands and knees and getting the dirt under your nails.
The hustle is painful waiting. It is endurance. It is planting your seed and waiting for days, months, and even years before you actually see any fruit.
The hustle is constantly engaging in a battle to give up, as temptation itself breathes heavily down your neck providing you with every possible logical excuse.
The hustle is filled with many moments of doubt, uncertainty, and skepticism.
The hustle is filled with moments of loneliness and isolation.
The hustle is filled with cycles of anxiety and depression.
The hustle is filled with opposition even from the ones you love the most
I could keep going but I trust you get the point…
After discovering what REAL hustling entailed, I began to hate the word and defiantly opposed every person that dared to even mention the word. Yup! I took it there. I was childish.
But as I continued in my hustle, I realized there was a reason it was and still is so glorified. I came to learn that the hustle had a purpose — that it was actually my servant and my teacher if I allowed it. I found that if I embraced the hustle and stopped complaining about it; if I stayed the course and refused to give up, I would find something remarkable — a better me.
So I did and continue to do just that. I made up my mind that there was no turning back. That come what may, I will see this through to the end because the difficulties I face in this hustle is not about me. Rather, it is about the lives I get the honor of impacting.
So, if you’d have me, I would like to share three ways the hustle is radically changing my life.
3 ways the hustle is radically changing my life:
1.) The hustle is teaching me.
The hustle is teaching me to stabilize my faith in something much greater than myself, God. It is teaching me to reject doubt and fear and believe that with God on my side, anything, absolutely anything, is possible.
The hustle is teaching me discipline. Truthfully, I was the queen of staying in bed, snuggled up in my big golden comforter, watching netflix or scrolling through my social media timelines. Comfort was my home. The hustle is teaching me that the dreams I long to be fulfilled is on the other side of my comfort.
The hustle is teaching me how to be unapologetic. I am learning that in my quest to see and live in my promised land, people will rise with their unsolicited opinions. This has been a major problem for me because I grew up learning to value the opinion of others even to my detriment. The hustle is shedding me of that. It is teaching me to walk boldly in my truth and letting those who are offended by my confidence stay mad. Their offense has more to do with them than me anyway.
2.) The hustle is helping me.
The hustle has revealed that there are certain things I must overcome in order to see my dreams fulfilled. These things are mental barriers that hinder my personal growth and development. Lack of overcoming these obstacles comes at a high cost. The cost? Seeing my dreams left unfulfilled — a cost too high for me to pay. Thus, the hustle places me in situations where I am forced to deal with these mental challenges head on. Here are just some of the challenges the hustle is helping me overcome:
The hustle is helping me overcome my fear of rejection.
The hustle is helping me overcome my fear of success.
The hustle is helping me overcome my low self-esteem.
The hustle is helping me overcome my fear of failure.
The hustle is helping me overcome my anxiety.
The hustle is helping me overcome being easily intimidated.
3.) The hustle is transforming me.
As I am on this journey, I am being transformed. The hustle is transforming me into the woman I always longed to be; A kind, loyal, caring, tender, compassionate, thoughtful, patient, strong, loving, powerful, disciplined, and unapologetic woman.
This is why I no longer hate the word but rather, I am thankful for it. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t quite love it yet, but I don’t hate it anymore either.
Now it’s your turn…
How the hustle can change your life.
This is available for you too. The hustle is designed to break you and then to make you.
It is designed to show you what you are capable of. It is designed to show you your strength. But you can only experience this if you don’t quit.
Yes, things are painfully difficult, I understand that. But if you learn the art of diligence — meaning, if you make up your mind not to turn back — no matter what — you too will see yourself begin to change. As YOU begin to change, so will the world around you.
“This is who I am and I make no apologies for it.”
There comes a point in life when you realize you must let go of the things that weigh you down in order to become obedient to who you really are. This is freedom. Becoming unapologetic is vital to this process.
In this latest podcast episode, I talk about the following:
1.) Learn to let people go
2.) Surrender to who you are becoming
3.) Affirm yourself often
Lastly, I remind you about the monthly letters I send entitled Your Personal Letters. It is a letter personally written by me; a chance to communicate on a deeper level. If you are interested. sign up below.
It’s been a while hasn’t it?! I am so excited to be back with season 2 of my podcast. I took a much needed break and I AM BACK! I am genuinely excited to bring you fresh weekly content.
Recently, I share this tweet (pictured above). It was inspired by a show that I was watching with my sister. In the episode, I detail the events of the show that lead to the tweet and I further break down what I meant by the tweet. Additionally, I talk about what mentorship really means and how to know if you are ready for it.
Lastly, I remind you about the monthly letters I send entitled Your Personal Letters. It is a letter personally written by me; a chance to communicate on a deeper level. If you are interested, sign up below.
Happy Happy Happy fourth of July week. Oddly enough, I enjoyed this fourth of July holiday. I say it’s odd because I didn’t do much of anything. I honestly spent much of it with my sister and eventually just myself and I LOVED it. Truthfully. I cooked, I watched movies, and I relaxed. It took me a long time to get here but I am here. I FINALLY enjoyed my own company. I finally acknowledged that I am never alone, that God is truly always with me annnnddddd I watched some pretty cool movies. It felt really good. How did you spend your fourth of July? I hope you had a blast! I hope you got to see some amazing fireworks. Chances are, if we follow each other on social media, I got to see them too. So thanks for sharing 🙂 And if we don’t follow one another on social media, we should change that 🙂 Moving on…
On a very lazy Wednesday evening I was laying in my bed, absent-mindedly perusing twitter, when I stumbled upon the Rob Kardashian & Blac Chyna debacle. Now, I am not one to speak publicly on situations I know nothing of, but I felt there was something here. I felt in the midst of the “juicy” drama, there was a lesson that needed to be emphasized. So of course, I grabbed my handy-dandy recording tools and I got to work. The result is what you hear on the most recent episode of my podcast.
Okay, okay. It’s been a while AGAIN. Don’t throw your shoes at me.
Let me explain…
I fell ill. I don’t know how but I did. So, I listened to my body and took some much needed time to get well, relax and rejuvenate. Clearly, I needed it. But I am back now and honestly I felt compelled to record this current episode of my podcast.
After the reveal of the non-guilty verdict of Philando Castile’s killer, it left me asking, what hope do we have?! As a nation, as a people, where can we find hope and stability during such unsettling times? From Ariana Grande’s concert bombing to the burning of Grenfell tower and MUCH MUCH MUCH more, fear has the opportunity to grip ever heart it encounters.
So again I ask, during these times, where can we find hope?!
I attempt to answer this by sharing my process of dealing with these crazy and scary times.
Listen, be inspired, and don’t forget to share your thoughts.
Okay it’s getting real. This is the part of the journey that I soak up EVERY encouraging word I can get. I desperately need it.
When I set out to pursue purpose, I was so enthusiastic. I was ready to take on the world and I just knew everything was going to line up in my favor as I continued to work hard.
As you have probably guessed, things have not quite worked out the way I expected. Truthfully, as of late, there has not been a day that I have seriously not considered quitting. If you are taking a shot then you know this crap is HARD. It just is. And NO ONE prepares you for how hard it is when you begin pursuing purpose. But God will just not let me quit. He is that small voice in my heart telling me that I need to carry on, that this is MUCH bigger than me.
You’re here! You’re doing this thing! You are FINALLY taking a shot. Unfortunately things aren’t panning out the way they should and your once enthusiasm is beginning to wane.
Maybe it’s time to look at things from a different angle. Maybe it’s time to redefine success.
As I have stated before, I never present you with information as an expert, but rather I come alongside you to share what I am learning as I am taking a shot myself. While in prayer, ready to bow out gracefully, I got these encouraging pointers that is currently changing and re-framing my thought process and I know it will do the same for you.
Listen, be inspired, and don’t forget to share what you are learning on your journey as well.